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Ever since I can remember, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do. It started with music, but from there it's grown to all kinds of things. Acting, art, writing, it's all stuff I've gotten into seriously.
The funny thing though is where all this can take you. The way you know where you're going, but the path to get there isn't really what you expected. I've found myself behind the scenes. A lot. Well, ok, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me back up. I never thought I'd go to college. Truth be told, I never wanted to. I wanted to go straight into a life of traveling, performing, acting, and just all around living an exciting, interesting, adventuresome life. But I also wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to do what I was supposed to do. So imagine my surprise and dismay when I found myself in a 4x4 practice room running through classical etudes. As I have said before, what ensued was one of the hardest times of my life. You have to understand, it wasn't just college. I really contemplated day by day if what I was doing was just going to derail my life, or maybe just put it back four years. Was I going to become one of these "collegiate" types and forget what it was like to sling a guitar or take command of a microphone? And the demands of my cumulative existence were really beyond what anyone in one sphere of my life had any concept of. Homework (yeah, lots of it), practice for two ensembles and private lessons, commuting from just inside the allowable distance sometimes up to 7 times a week. Going to required concerts. And that was all aside from church participation, directing Impact at the time (oo buddy, the work involved in that alone), teaching private music lessons, and trying to continue my own artistic endeavors. Oh, you know, just that stuff that was really important to me like my own music, not to mention mixing and producing work for other artists. Now, bear in mind, this isn't about complaining, if you know me, you know I'm going somewhere with this. It took me places though. I was learning to be a better audio engineer than I ever was before. I was doing more live sound gigs. I toured to Washington DC with a saxophone quartet, and to New York City with a jazz big band (performing, that is). It's funny too, because I barely made the cut. That's right. I was good in my town, but here in music major land, I seriously nearly failed the audition, save for one guy who felt he could do something with me. So don't misunderstand what I said in the beginning. I've performed. I've gotten called to fill in at jazz combo gigs, Impact played around the scene some. I've played metalpoprockworship with WatersEdge, I've played funk and blues with Customer Service. I've even played some hip hop with J. Crum. But even so, such things have felt fleeting. Not the whole picture. I've always felt this purpose to what I do. That I'm not just making some art (whatever it may be), but that I have something worth saying and doing with it, and the world around me just continues to prove that to me. And sometimes it's felt like, "Man, how may years have I been in this basement? almost ten? How may late nights solving computer problems?" The artists I've worked with are going places. Doing a tour here, playing a festival there. And you know what? I'm happy for them, and I've had the privelege of sharing some of those experiences with them. But for a guy who has pursued a dream for as long as I can remember, sometimes I find myself shutting down the computer after a day of school, driving, and hours of work tweaking audio, still having practice and homework to do, due dates to meet, and a gym session to do (if I really want to meet my goals), knowing I need to do it all again the next day, and the thought comes from somewhere, "Where's mine? How did I go from chasing my dream to making everyone else's come true? And when does all this seemingly endless effort into my own endeavors really become worth it beyond being able to say that my mom and a few close friends enjoy my stuff? Are you even happy with your stuff? You're a senior in college, you know. You should have made a name by now....And is anyone reading your blog anyway? " (don't worry, this is going somewhere good, not depressing.) But that's when I realized something. I've asked for a lot. I don't just want to "tour" or something. How is that even big enough to be a dream? We've got sweaty, poor musicians "touring" all over the place, like that's the end of the grimey yellow brick road or something. I want the biggest of the big. The best of the best in everything I do. And to get a crop like that, it was going to take good seed. Seed that was substantial. I've been the guy looping the same 5 seconds of audio over and over, splicing takes, running automation, and eating in front of my work. I've been the guy practicing when he didn't want to (haven't a lot of us?). I've been the guy doing tons of pushups, drinking stuff he didn't want to, the guy moving equipment in the cold, designing, cutting and distributing flyers on the weekend by driving from place to place. Making phone calls, sending emails, rolling cables, sleeping in the back seat of a car, coaching the singer in the vocal booth, setting up mics, running on and off the stage for a soundcheck I was in charge of, showing that guitarist how to set up his own rig 30 minutes before a show, making backing tracks, doing graphic design, arranging a medley, consulting on songwriting, covering for that certain individual who didn't do their job correctly. And you know what? I don't think I'm above doing what needs to be done. Nope. Not at all. I have felt beyond exacerbated at times, but then I look at this and think, "Wow, I've been able to do just about everything connected with at least one of the things I want to do. Nobody will ever be able to pull one over on me. No one should ever be able to feed me a line." And I look at the things happening to the artists I am working with and for. Those are connections, man. And the proof is bleeding through. Who would have thought the guy who barely made the cut would end up playing for the Student Showcase? And when I need to call somebody, I've got that number. I've been doing some things. Things in the studio, and things beyond that to prepare for what is inevitably about to happen. You're gonna like this. And it's a whole lot more than you think. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not quitting, despite the real feelings that come and say that's exactly what I should do. The goal still hasn't changed, the path was just different than I first imagined. One day very, very soon you're not going to be able to get away from me. And chances are, you won't mind, because I really just want to make your life better. But I have a feeling that maybe you'll wish you had paid more attention in the beginning.
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So people seem to be on about politics lately. Let me just say a few things, in the most respectful tone I can stand to muster about now.
I don't technically consider myself in a particular "party" as of the moment. However, I am a college senior/musician/artist who leans to the right (how is that even possible, right?), and have somehow managed to not cite/worship Steven Colbert or John Stewart like they're Dr. Jesus PhD of all things savvy and relevant or something. Now, if I've already lost your respect, then whatever. If you make it to the end of this post, it isn't even really so much about my own views...but I will lead with them a little. I am not really about attacking people. I personally however disagree with many of the actions of our current President, though I say that still maintaining my respect for his office. I feel that our national debt is out of control, and yes, though the situation hasn't been ideal for some time, I believe a lot of this undue spending has been coming from unnecessary things that make the general public happy. I also feel that the recent bill on heathcare, whether you agree with it or not, was way too huge and packed with a BUNCH of non-healthcare related issues that were snuck into the legislation, many of which keep getting "discovered" because the thing was too huge and rushed to even be read by the people passing it. There are some other issues I have as well, but that's not really my point. Still with me? Haven't lost all respect for The Great Sam Day? I seem to see a lot of things on my newsfeed lately. People arguing and talking about how respectful and hopeful the DNC was, in contrast to the "mudslinging" of the Republicans. Admittedly, I didn't really watch either, at least not yet. I'm a little busy producing albums, playing concerts, commuting to college in Dayton, practicing, recording, writing, being involved in my church (oh dear, a college student in church? with old people?!), making art, being the President of the campus recording studio, etc. But this I know. No party is really innocent of this kind of thing. And while you holier-than-thou twentysomethings were busy inventing new ways to say you're smarter than everyone else, I was just trying to watch a funny cat video on YouTube when an anti-Romney smear ad with the overall depth of a hallmark movie stole thirty seconds of my bandwidth. Yeah, and there's nothing like those "sponsored tweets" hijacking my twitter feed to make sure I know just how things "are". So, a fallacious red-herring like talking about the overall PR of one event just doesn't seem to make the case for me. Now, who you vote for and the values you hold are your choice. Really. And please do discuss them. But too often I feel like people like me have been scoffed at like some sort of toothless, outdated hilljack for being the slightest bit conservative. But really, again, my personal beliefs aren't my bottom line here. I am not really even saying anything about Romney, I can't really say that I agree with him 100% either. Whatever your beliefs are, we ought to just be able to share them articulately. Without fear. I look out at big public figures....you know, people like Lady Gaga or something who have gained a lot of fanbase because of how outspoken they are. Whether you or I agree with them or not really isn't the bottom line. I just feel like anyone who sort of leans toward the "conservative" side (which is really a sort of unfair term anyway) immediately gets labeled as either "THE MAN" (like, "fight the man", you dig?) or tragically out of touch, while people on the other side of things get labeled as the "underdog" who is fighting the status quo. The thing is, looking at my facebook feed, seems like that hasn't been quite the whole truth. I'm not going to be afraid of losing fans or something anymore because of where I stand. I'm not out to shove anything down anyone's throat or force you to be like me. But I'm not stupid. Most people who know me personally know I'm an intelligent, respectful and respectable person. Though I haven't been perfect, I've done more good than you'd probably care to know, and done a whole lot less COMPLAINING ON FACEBOOK than I probably could have gotten away with. So how could someone like me think "that way?". Chances are, you probably didn't even know where I stood on some of this, and still don't on a lot of other things. As I said before, I haven't really gone around picking fights. Well, regardless of the answer to the aforementioned question, we should just be who we were created to be (and please, don't start some hotly debated semantical forum about what that means right now). And to the Christians who have been making comments like "I'll just stay out of it"...well, ok, I respect and understand that we don't need to squabble unproductively like many others. I get that people. But please, don't use Christianity as an excuse to be a pansy. I don't go around preaching my spiritual or political beliefs to people on a whim. I know how unproductive that can be in many instances. But we shouldn't be afraid to hold our beliefs just because they are "uncool". And I've seen some questionable sources thrown around just to chum the water anyway. While Bill Nye has totally spoken out against creationism, there's been this whole big fat thing going around about him losing his cool and dropping the F bomb about 8 billion times regarding the issue (and several others), which just made all you facebookers about wet your pants with joy. But, then I turned around and saw an article saying that, despite his real anti-creationist feelings, this popular account never happened. (http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/billnye.asp) I seriously to this day haven't been able to verify if this thing ever happened or not, or if everyone just so wanted it to have happened that we went all 1984 in this mug and convinced each other that it actually went down. I can't find the video....nothing. But seriously. You "i love to debate on facebook all day long" types may as well have been citing it on a college paper with your backing of this story. So seems to me it's gotten a little sharky up in here. Let's not be afraid to stand up for what we believe in. But do your best to do so in love, people. And maybe you'll think I'm a little crazy. But hey, people thinking that hasn't stopped Tom Cruise from being wildly successful either. People are free to boycott Oreo or support them, or neither. People are free to support or boycott Chik-fil-a. I choose to support them. For those of you who have been throwing around the term "bigot", get your head out of your behind and stop creating a climate of fear. A bigot is someone whose actions originate in hate, not someone who stands up for what they believe in but still loves people. I have had LGBT friends and teachers (ok, just LG so far). People I have loved and enjoyed the company of and have respected. What is sad though is that, because of the climate we live in, I have had to deal with fear of speaking my beliefs because apparently you're immediately an "anti-gay bastard" the moment someone finds out you do not believe in gay marriage. But, there really are those of us who will disagree, stand for our beliefs, but would still gladly have lunch with anyone regardless. People who still love all people. And for those of you "food isn't idealistic" people, stop dodging the issue. We so want to separate everything in our lives, but things just aren't that simple. It's true, you'll probably NEVER be able to buy a single product without some penny of your money going to something you don't agree with, regardless of who you are, there are some things you almost can't avoid. However, when a company comes out and takes a defined stance or makes a statement, you can't just sit there and say it doesn't mean anything. I'm not saying I'll never buy another Oreo, but I am saying that when Oreo did their thing, many of you "I'm smarter than you people" people came out and started belittling those who spoke out in opposition by making sly statements like "it's just a cookie, get over it", insinuating that such people were backwards rednecks with no concept of the way the "real world" works. You started using words like "bigot" and throwing all the apples into one basket. I'm not a bigot. I've had many friends and teachers whose beliefs differed from my own, and still loved them. So, don't you dare attack people who stand for what they believe in. All laws and issues in any country come out of someone's moral conviction. Some people have different moral convictions, but we should never come to the day that we deny that morals exist. So, if LGBT groups want to protest Chik-fil-a, then you know what? They can do that. That's freedom. We should protect that right. Now, aside from that, I know where I'm having dinner tonight. And no, I don't want a comment war on my wall, thanks, so I'm going to delete any comments posted here, supportive or argumentative. Either one.
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AuthorMusician, artist, filmmaker, actor, producer, adventurer, follower of Christ. Archives
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