Ok, let me explain.
First off, no specific life event has triggered this post, it's just a thought I had. And secondly, this doesn't apply to every situation, but probably to more than a few.
Often times, I feel like it's easy for someone to look at you when you are trying to help them and make a statement like "Well, it's easy for YOU, YOU'RE privileged, or YOU'RE talented, or YOU just aren't AFFECTED by anything!" etc., etc.
In all fairness, sometimes this is true to varying degrees. Things like privilege, talent, mental chemistry, or whatever else can buffer our experiences. Some things ARE just naturally easier for some people. But, I feel that too often we just use this partial truth as ammunition when we feel like throwing something up in another's face.
I guess what I'm saying is, don't assume that because something is easy for me now that it always has been. Perhaps I can speak from experience because I've been where you are. Maybe I had to go through a lot to be where I'm at in a particular area. How would you know?
For instance, somebody might say, "Well, you just don't understand, you don't get hurt the way I do when people say things to you. It just comes so naturally to you to just let it all go."
Well, ok, maybe that's true. Or maybe not.
Maybe the very person you're saying that to was even more devastated by people than you are in times past. Maybe they were naturally even WEAKER in that area, but then decided to make a change. To not let their their young and undeveloped tendencies dictate to them who they are. Maybe they went through some serious fires, learned a lesson and made a change, only for you to assume that it "comes to easily to them". What an absolute insult. What a slap in the face, a belittling of a journey based on some sad ignorance.
And at the end of the day, what does it matter? What does it matter if some life skill DOES come easier to someone else, or if they had to develop it? All that really matters is this: are they doing the right thing with it? Are they telling you the truth, giving you sound words to live by? Whether they practiced for hours or could just pick the thing up and play, are they doing something worthwhile with it so that others can follow suit?
And what are you going to do even if it is easier for them? Use that as some weak, poor excuse to continue on in self-accepted weakness? Just so you can say "well, you don't understand" over and over again, as if it's your weaknesses that make you special?
That's such a lie! We've accepted so many lies about who we are. We've let the world tell us that our deficiencies and weaknesses are what make us special. They've practically defined humanity with the term "mistake". The pervading message bleeding through our facebook and twitter feeds every day is that that our scars and limps are what make us who we are. And for what? So we can all hobble around like nostalgic infirmary patients, comparing wounds in some twisted, romantically tragic manner, swearing that these grievances and hinderances are what make us interesting? That our fears and and insecurities are our dear friends, so that we can play the part of the underdog, giving us just enough excuse when things "don't go right"? So that we can accuse anyone trying to help or correct us of "being a bully", being "unfeeling and unloving", or (one of the most popular) of "not accepting us for who we are"?
If you accuse someone trying to help you of "not accepting you for who you are", then what you are saying is that you define yourself by your problems, instead of by the greatness that is in you. Don't tell someone you love to "never change". We're supposed to be beings that are constantly getting better.
None of us can attain walking in perfection on our own, and yeah, we all have quirks and issues to deal with. And it's true that we should accept and love one another DESPITE the problems, but not BECAUSE of them.
As a Christian, I look at it this way; I put my faith in a God who lived a life here just like me, and can relate. So it doesn't matter if the person standing in front of me can 100% "relate" or not. If what they are telling me is true, then that's the bottom line. Truth is truth, and I can either put it in to practice and learn from it (so that one day perhaps I can have the honor of someone accusing me of "not understanding"), or I can play semantics to squirm out of making any real change, then go hang out with other people who choose to be losers and complain about everyone else.